Mika & The Marine…

Devastation on so many levels.  Let me see if I can explain.

Let me explain the characters:

Jack”san”:  A Marine, a hero, as close to a son as I’ve ever known.

Mika:  A cat that “Jack-san” gave us.

Two integral influences in my life are gone.  One, almost three years ago.  One, today. The two inextricably tied together.

Jacksan was my san.  Yes, san.  A cherished young man that held my daughters heart, my heart and that of those whose lives he touched in so many ways. His untimely death on May 17^th 2008 brought much sorrow  and heart ache to me (and many others).     He is also the crux of this story as he brought a little soul for us to love and cherish while he was away at war.  Enter Mika.  A tiny kitty.   I was soooo mad at the kids for bringing her home (if you have ever heard a sailor swear it was like church compared to that day), but from her first mew I was hooked.   I remember yelling at the kids to give me the cat, and Rachael telling me…”don’t hurt her mom”.  I looked at her and said, “ I’m mad at you and Jack, not the kitten.  Give her to me.”  Mewwww.   I was hooked and mushy.  My BFF laughed at me and called me a pu$$y.  Appropriate after the temper tantrum I’d thrown on the way home from Target to confront the kids.

Jack went off to war, and  when it was time to get her spaid, we did.  It went badly. Verrrry, badly.  The doctor was a hack.  She went crazy.   She had to have repeat surgeries and yes, she was literally nutzo.  But I digress.  I didn’t know what to do except love her through it, and I realized it would probably take more patience (and blood from her hostile claws) than I had to give.  But, I was determined to try.  Slowly but surely, after months and months, she started to calm down.  Jack called daily from Iraq to find out how she was doing.  (fast forward 3 months)

When I got the call that Jack had died, I remember thinking, “where’s Mika?”  I found her under my bed shaking and keening.  True story.  How she knew is beyond my comprehension.  But she did.  Mika, Rachael and I all grieved for Jack together along with his mother and family. Together we figured out how to somehow put the pieces back together after Jack’s death.

She was so much more than a cat to me.  She was a Marine.  A survivor.  She proved that through love anything is possible.  Day after day I worked with her to reassure, love, and make her feel secure.  She eventually responded.  Slowly but surely.  Love was healing her hurt and crazy.  Every day was a new step.  Crazy or not.  She was our cat…most would have probably given up, but I did not.

In October we moved from LA to a property where I have a backyard where she can run and play. She thrived.  She had become loving, warm and caring…(always with a teaspoon of bitch thrown in for good measure).  But she had finally come into her own.  Blossoming .  Amazing.  Happy.

Yesterday, she was running and playing and had the “zoom zooms” as I call them.  In and out of the house and around the yard, leaping over bushes and playing.  Rubbing up against my leg, purring, happy.  Today, she’s gone.  Dead.   And, part of my heart went with her and the other half feels like an open wound.  Yes, she’s just a cat…but a special one.  A silent killer got her…just like it got Jack.  Unbelievable the loss that I feel tonight.  She was just so more than a cat.  Just like Jack was so much more than a Marine.

She taught me how to fight.  How to never give up in spite of overwhelming odds.  She was a bitch. A tiger.  But she never quit fighting.  She taught me this.  Fight.  Fight.  Fight…and don’t quit until you win.  She was tough and mean, but she’d show me her loyalty and love every day.  She taught me how to just lay down and breathe through things when they seemed overwhelming.  She showed me even cats cry when they hurt inside.  She showed me that no matter what, you put your tail up and walk like it ain’t no thang…even when you’re scared.  That’s the way Marine’s do it.  So Jack often reminded me.  Between Mika, the Marines, and the Drop Dead Diva…where do you think I got my “shoulders back, rack out, step, step, booty kick” from?  Hmmm?  Life and people bring those things to a person.  And, that’s what Mika did.  That’s what Jack did.  They showed me how to find my strength through the hurt and the pain.  Now, she’s gone.  Let’s see if I learned my lesson well enough to do it on my own.

Mika was so much more than a cat to me.  She was a constant reminder.  A leader by example.  She was my constant reminder of my “san” and his, “Come on Mama2 that’s how the Marines do it.  You can do it too.”

She will be sorely missed.    I’m devastated.  But tomorrow, the sun will shine and she will still be there…in spirit only…just like Jack…but she’ll be there.  I learned the lessons and now I have to move forward and look up.

I love you Mika.  I love you “Jack-san”.  Mika and the Marine.  Brave, strong, loyal, loving and sorely missed.   To some, they are just animals and soldiers.  To me, they are heroes…human or furry.  The one thing I know is that a brave Marine named Jack”san” is taking care of Mika.

I don’t know if ultimately this makes any sense to anyone but me…but selfishly…right now I don’t care…that’s another thing Jack and Mika taught me.  Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself first.

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