Kindness Killers!
Ever have a day where everything goes wrong and in spite of it all, you do your best to try and keep a smile and a positive attitude? Well today was one of those days for me and try as I might to overcome the urge, I finally “slank” back to my house, tail down, coming to the conclusion that some days it’s better take cover rather than try to combat negativity. I came across the worst kind of humanity today. I call them kindness killers. The definition of a kindness killer is a person that engages in an activity that either takes advantage of kindness or displays repugnant behavior in response to an act of good will or compassion.
Let me share a few examples…
I had to run to the post office today and as I pulled into the parking lot, a double king cab extended bed truck is pulling out of a compact parking space. I see he’s having trouble maneuvering out of the space so I adjust my position to make it easier for him to get his ridiculously big truck out of an area which I’m not sure how he got into in the first place. I’m smiling and waiting patiently and as the truck pulls up beside me, the passenger rolls down her window, snarls at me and flips me off. I was so stunned, I couldn’t even react. I asked myself the question out loud…”did she really just flip ME off?” The person that went out of her way to make extra room, waited patiently with a smile for them to move so everyone could get where they needed to go? Once it sunk in that she had indeed flipped me off, I said to myself…she’s a real kindness killer and yes, I squeezed in bitch at the end. If the shoe fits…well wear it well.
Flash to Sports Chalet where I picked up some supplies for my bike. I’m waiting in line while the couple in front of me is trying to find out a price on a product. They have one line open in the store. As I’m waiting, the line continues to grow behind me. Over at the end of the counter, TWO additional sales girls are laughing and repeatedly looking at the line, but not reacting to the fact that by this time there are no less than ten people in line. More minutes pass. Finally the guy at the register has to leave the customers he’s helping to go ask one of the chatty sales girls if they can open a register while gesturing at the ever growing line. She unenthusiastically agrees and then walks over to the next register to open up. A kid from the back of the line runs over to the register and steps in front of everyone else that was waiting before them. I watched sure that the mother would show some manners and correct the situation. But she didn’t. She charged right up and the cashier who clearly had no customer service skills in the first place proceeded to grudgingly check the customer out. I couldn’t help myself; I look at the cashier and said, are you SERIOUS? I can’t believe that stores are so desperate for help that they would employ someone that clearly doesn’t care about customer service or reputation. With all the people out of work, I’m certain there would be someone that would love to have that job and wait on customers with great customer service skills and a happy attitude. Don’t even get me started on the mother and the example she set for the child. Pathetic. I guess manners are over rated these days.
Undaunted, I proceeded to Costco where I plastered a smile on my face determined to make someone smile back at me, thereby making us both feel better. I smiled and said hello to a women. She cold stopped, stared me up and down and then gave me a dirty look, shook her head and moved on. It was absolutely disheartening. I learned in that very moment, that you can change a person’s day with a kind word and a smile and you can just as easily ruin it with a snarl. The pendulum swings both ways.
I decided that I’d had enough. I kept my head down, did my shopping, gave everyone the right of way and just prayed that I would get home without another dirty glance or making the acquaintance of someone else’s bitter middle finger. Lucky me, the check out guys at Costco were a comedy duo and I left the store laughing. They literally made a bad day feel much, much better.
I’ve felt a shift lately. People are scared, angry and worried. They are weary from the uncertainty of the past couple of years. A lot of families are suffering from lost jobs, homes, family members, and some are even faced with devastating disasters that most of us can scarcely comprehend. I get it. I’m scared too.
But what scares me more than the uncertain times is that if we as people stop respecting and caring for one another, that humanity will slip quietly away. If not practiced, kindness and compassion will die. Integrity will become a rarity as everyone takes on an “it’s an all about me” attitude and action.
I have no idea what each of the people that I encountered today were going through. Perhaps they ran into a kindness killer before they encountered me. I just don’t know their circumstance and I’m trying not to react but I’m failing miserably. I’m mad, upset and disheartened. I work damn hard and go above and beyond to ensure that people are happy and satisfied. I go out of my way to be kind and compassionate. I work with people to help them get ahead even if it’s not always to my benefit. I don’t expect a monument or acknowledgement for anything I do, however, I do expect that I’m treated in the same way that others would like to be treated. And, I’ve never met anyone that enjoyed being treated like sh*t. Am I perfect? No, far from it. And, I most certainly have bad days where my attitude can certainly use a makeover. I can honestly say that when I’m like that, I go out of my way to NOT take it out on other people. I wonder how the individuals that I dealt with today would feel if I brushed them off, avoided their phone call, flipped them off, glared at them or put my needs in front of theirs. I have an idea that they would feel like I’m feeling now…and that’s crappy ‘bout it and uncomfortable.
I know things are bad, I get it. But our actions today, determine our destiny for tomorrow. If my experiences are any indication of tomorrow, there’s a storm brewing of epic proportion. We have to keep our heads about us.
If there is one thing that I take away from this experience it is resolve…tomorrow morning the sun will shine and bring fresh hope with a new day. I will be an ambassador for changing a bad day for someone through a smile or simple kindness. I will keep a clear conscience that I’ve done my best to create good will. I can smile knowing that the thing I will not ever be is a kindness killer…(at least not consciously). That’s not a legacy I want to create for any that may follow in my footsteps. Perhaps if we all do our part, we can see some real hope for a change. And, that’s what we all need. I’m moving forward and looking up…I choose to make a difference not give up. I leave defeat to the kindness killers.
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